“Life doesn’t require that we be the best, only that we try our best.
~H. Jackson Brown

Back to school! Whether you’re a student enrolled in school or a perpetual “student of life,” this time of year brings anticipation, excitement and the thrill of new adventure.

There’s something about September that makes us feel like cracking open a clean notebook and getting to write on the pages of life with renewed vigor. I’ve noticed that, no matter their age, most people arrive at the beginning of Fall revived, rejuvenated and raring to go.

But, raring to go where? Anywhere. Or, more precisely: anywhere they feel called to invest their “life currency” (where time + energy = life currency). We typically only get one “Back-to-School” opportunity each year – a rare chance to forward our life’s mission. So, it makes sense that we should devote these precious resources to activities that align with our values.

An Experiment

What would happen if you really put one of your core values “front and center?” Read the rest of this entry »

It’s not hard work that wears you out, but the repression of your true personality.

~Frances Hesselbein

There’s nothing like the ol’ “odometer click” to get you thinking about how you’ve spent one of the 100 or so trips around the sun we each take (if we’re lucky!). For me, this happens every August. I invite you to try on the following three questions I always ask myself on this day:

• How’d last year size up?
• Were you fulfilled in your work?
• Were your days filled with meaningful activity and significant interaction with loved ones?

If you answered the last two questions with anything less than “plenty,” consider this a friendly tap on the shoulder to remind you that “the days are long, but the years are short.*” And if, like most people, you aspire to “a life well-lived,” I ask you: if not now, when?

Getting Your Dreams Out in the Open

Sure, there’s plenty of unhappiness in the world. Hopefully, not so much in yours. Even so, there’s always room for improvement. Read the rest of this entry »

The Lazy Days of Summer

Now that we Northern Hemispherians are experiencing summer’s full embrace, I like to consider July a chance to “press pause” on the hectic pace of life, if only briefly.

The downtime is refreshing. For many people, summer’s a time to do what they want, catch up on things they’ve let slide, and of course, get out and enjoy the warm weather. But with a little down time, the mind can sometimes wander to the realm of unrealized dreams and forgotten hopes. It can even leave one feeling discouraged.

As a result, it’s easy to get trapped in a “scarcity mindset:”

• “I don’t have a chance at that.”
• “I don’t have time to really go for it.”
• “I don’t have the resources to make a serious run of it.”

Regain Your Footing

If this “internal soundtrack” sounds familiar, rest assured you’re not alone – everyone’s found themselves in this spot at some point. It can be hard to see “out of the box” at times like this, so here are a couple of helpful strategies Read the rest of this entry »

In the previous issue, we discussed the role of resilience and identified ways to become more resilient. Yet resilience is only one piece of the puzzle when it comes to achieving your vision.

In this issue, we focus on two supporting concepts: risk evaluation and risk tolerance. To produce lasting and meaningful change, we need to be willing to take risks, but perhaps more importantly, to feel comfortable determining which risks are worth taking.

As it turns out, resilience, risk evaluation and risk tolerance all work in concert:

• As you become more resilient, you repeatedly “prove” to yourself that you can bounce back if things don’t go your way, and this increases your risk tolerance.
• As you get better at evaluating risk, you begin to trust your assessment of the situation. This confidence allows your risk tolerance to grow.

As all three areas improve, they work as a powerful team. Read the rest of this entry »

I haven’t failed. I’ve identified 10,000 ways this doesn’t work.

-Thomas Edison

“Who are you?”

Everyone asks themselves this question sooner or later, whether they happen to be a famous 70′s rock band or not. Whether you see it as an opportunity to know yourself better or as a nagging, burdensome sign of an impending mid-life crisis, the quest for self-discovery is an inevitable part of life’s journey.

In terms of feeling happy and fulfilled, how we address the question is at least as important as what we learn when we look inward. Some people will judge themselves to have “measured up;” others will decide they’ve “come up short.” Some will blame “circumstances” (or other people) if they haven’t accomplished what they’d hoped. And some know they’ll make the most of where they are and what they’ve got – whether their self-assessment comes out glowing, or a little lackluster.

What does this last group see that the rest of us don’t? Read the rest of this entry »

Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.

– Abraham Lincoln

What Makes People Happy?

If I could provide a one-size-fits-all “path to happiness,” you’d already know about it! What I can do at this point, however, is tell you what studies have shown it’s not. Research has shown over and over again that people just don’t become happier by winning the lottery, elevating their social status or becoming famous. Instead, it seems to come down to a combination of temperament and perspective. Tom Valeo sums it up pretty well:

“Research has shown that your talent for happiness is, to a large degree, determined by your genes. Psychology professor David T. Lykken, author of Happiness: Its Nature and Nurture, says that ‘trying to be happier is like trying to be taller.’ We each have a ‘happiness set point,’ he argues, and move away from it only slightly.

And yet, psychologists who study happiness – including Lykken – believe we can pursue happiness. We can do this by thwarting negative emotions such as pessimism, resentment, and anger. And we can foster positive emotions, such as empathy, serenity, and especially gratitude.

In short, we may be born with a happiness “set point,” as Lykken calls it, but we are not stuck there. Happiness also depends on how we manage our emotions and our relationships with others.” (full article on WebMD)

So, while you can’t change the temperament with which you’re born, you can choose to make an “attitude adjustment.” And if you do, you might just find yourself more content with the situation.

How Happy Am I Now?

Of course, it’s a lot easier to make that adjustment if your days are filled with meaningful activities and relationships that help provide fulfilling life experiences. To get a quick read of what kind of life you’re living, ask yourself the following questions: Read the rest of this entry »

“What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.”

~ Yiddish Proverb

After the “meaty-ness” of last month’s issue of Sound Living, I thought a little humor was due. After all, laughter is the best medicine, right?

Did you ever think about why? It turns out there are a number of reasons*:

1. When we’re mired in the busy-ness of life, sometimes best way to “get out from under” is a little comedy. Humor is one of the most effective ways to diffuse conflict, relax and regain perspective.
2. Laughter has numerous physiological benefits – for example, it:
   • supports good health.
   • relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes afterward.
   • boosts the immune system. It reduces stress hormones in your bloodstream and helps build your immune system – improving your resistance to disease.
   • triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
   • protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against heart attacks and other cardiovascular problems.
3. Laughing is just fun. Anytime we introduce more fun into our lives, we improve our outlook on life.

So, no matter what’s weighing on your mind or burdening your soul, carve out time to see the humor in your situation. For many, this perspective change is key to the happiness equation for their lives. And if you’re wondering how you can begin to increase laughter in your life, here are some ways to get started: Read the rest of this entry »

Clients often come to me looking to add spontaneity to their lives. And I’m always excited to champion them, as they release the constant need for control and structure. At the same time, “big” goals are difficult to accomplish without some advance planning – especially in one key area: setting a clear intention.

Ready… Set (Your Intention)…. Go!

We learn early on that planning ahead saves work in the long run. As we begin to realize larger and longer-term goals, creating an “action plan” often becomes a crucial first step. Complicated projects, we come to understand, are most successful when we think them through in advance.

However, throughout the project, we’re not just working. We’re also thinking, feeling and experiencing – being - the whole time. In each moment of our lives, we convey an intention – whether or not we’re conscious of which one. So, it’s helpful to get clear about “who we strive to be,” as we set about the things we do each day.

Setting an intention has less to do with what you plan to do while you work on a goal, and everything to do with setting a goal for how you will be. And if what you do isn’t aligned with how you be, you either:

• won’t arrive at your preferred destination, or
• won’t be happy with the route you had to take to get there

An Example

Let’s say I’ve got a client who’s interested in making more money (without changing jobs). She could just walk into her supervisor’s office and ask. Her intention? Nothing more than to ask the question and hopefully catch the boss on a good day.

Will she get the raise just by asking for it? Unless her boss was about to give her more money anyway, probably not. Meanwhile, what sort of impression might this approach leave on her boss? Read the rest of this entry »