It’s 4:32am. Tonight’s dream has me back in college – perspiring, frustrated, exhausted. I’m trying (to no avail), to unlock what is apparently my dorm room, when I realize I am using my car key.

Admittedly, that dream’s a little transparent. But has a dream ever helped you solve a problem? Have you ever had a dream so brilliant that you remembered the whole thing when you woke up, and were able to apply what you learned to your waking life?

It’s amazing how few people remember their dreams, much less solve complex problems in their sleep. But it’s a phenomenon many people say they’ve experienced. In fact, it’s happened to me a few times; I found resolution to an issue within my subconscious. Or, in other words, I dreamed my solution into existence. (more…)

“Sometimes I feel like I’m barely keeping up with all the demands on my time! Is it me, or is everything moving at warp speed these days?”

~ C.R., Boston, MA

Funny, that. You’re not crazy, and you’re definitely not alone. I mean, here we are in the “lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer,” and it seems most of us don’t know what season it is, much less what day of the week! Recent research indicates that vacations are considered “passé” for many U.S. workers, and it’s all about “staying productive.” Surveys have shown that many professionals would rather skip vacations entirely than face the onslaught of work they would return to, were they to get away for more than a day or two.

That’s well and good until we hit the proverbial wall. Some companies are now insisting vacation be used each year and furthermore, that it be taken in week-long chunks – so a person can really reap the restorative benefits of the downtime.

So, before your company escorts you to your permanent vacation, and before your children are grown, your health is spent, and opportunities to create the memories have dwindled to a precious few, take charge of your own recharge. Carve out some time away from the 21st century: turn off the Blackberry, walk away from the email and pull the plug on the media – even if only for a little while. Your well-being just may depend on it. One thing’s for sure: a short respite from electronic stimulation overload will improve the quality of the relationships in your life – if only for the fact that, perhaps for the first time in a long time, the people around you will benefit from your full attention!

True Story: During my first year as a coach, I had a client who would periodically fall silent during the session. This was a Very Bad Thing, I told myself. Clearly, I must have just committed a big NO-NO. My words obviously had no value, and by continuing to work with her, I was simply reinforcing that I was a fraud. How could I possibly salvage the situation? What self-respecting coach would continue to work with a client who was so obviously getting nothing out of the relationship? My future with this client looked bleak. I began to wonder if things could possibly get any worse.

Then it happened with another client. And that was the beginning of my grand downward spiral.

My new mindset had me convinced I no longer deserved to feel any sort of confidence. It didn’t seem to matter that I had outstanding training, abundant experience – certification even. My clients’ silence had proven beyond any doubt that I was not who I thought I was. Clearly, I had failed in my mission to become an effective and inspiring coach.

Fortunately, my clients stuck with me. At the time, I simply couldn’t imagine why they weren’t quitting – after all, hadn’t I proven week after week that I had little to offer? My insights and questions were still being met with silence – not consistently, mind you, but just frequently enough to keep me from questioning MY STORY. (more…)

Thanks to B.W. who, in response to our call for reader submissions, sent the following:

“I feel like I’m coming apart at the hinges. I know it’s a temporary condition, but in the meantime, what can I do to improve my outlook and my current level of frustration?”

Six Strategies for Managing Frustration

Let’s face it: balancing demands on our time makes us feel wobbly from time to time! When life seems to be spinning out of control, you really have two options:

1. Manage what’s on your plate, or
2. Manage your response. (more…)

Deeply satisfied with the last few minutes of Jeopardy, she begins the next newsletter. Sitting down to think, she muses on what might make some good “Final Jeopardy” questions. The first candidate pops to mind. And the answer is:

“The Toilet Seat”

… and then, they begin coming one after another …

… but they all seem to have the same “question.” Do you have it yet?

“What is something people argue about?”

Of course. Obvious, wasn’t it?

What’s the matter – it wasn’t obvious to you? What’s it to you? Do you wanna take this outside?! Is it really worth fighting about?

Whether you agree, disagree, or don’t give a hoot, these three types of responses pretty much summarize your choices. What’s not as clear-cut is this: if you decide not to simply release your pent-up anger at the other person, what can you do with it? (more…)